Here ‘tis! My far-too-belated Bjork related blog!
21/01/08
Monday Evening
It was the night before John and I were to be leaving for Sydney, and I couldn’t sleep. No surprise really. For at least 7 years I had been waiting for the opportunity to see Bjork live, and in only a couple of days I would finally be granted this opportunity! I was absolutely stoked!!
The weeks leading up to this particular Monday evening had seen me religiously checking the Bjork 4um, cranking Bjork’s Live Box on my stereo nearly 24/7 and excitedly talking the ear off anyone who would listen. “Guess what I’m doing in 32 days, 4 hours, 21 minutes and 8 seconds?!!”
As fortunate as John and I were to be the proud owners of two tickets to Bjork’s first and only Australian solo show in 12 years; these tickets came at a price. $400 each to be exact! You see, John and I had tried our darndest to get hold of tickets when they first went on sale. We had woken up at least 2 hours before the tickets were to be released online. We had organised days prior to use John’s sister’s credit card and computer to make the purchase. But alas. No luck. For some odd reason, most likely due to the sever being too busy, we were unable to get tickets. We refreshed the page over and over again; no good. John’s sis travelled to Ticketek to try there; no good. The disappointment and stress of it all brought me to tears. So, what could we do next but jump on Ebay and buy ourselves a couple of ridiculously overpriced tickets off a scalper?! Yes I know scalpers are scum. And yes, John and I probably should have waited it out to see if more tickets were released down the track (they were dammit!). But at the time, we were desperate. And the idea of seeing my absolute favourite artist for the first (and perhaps only) time at a drunken, dirty, unappreciative and overcrowded Big Day Out gig was enough to make me weep. $400 tickets it was!
Me being me, I left packing until the last minute. The trip would only be for 3 days and 2 nights in total, so I didn’t really need to pack all that much anyway. Our flight was to be at 9:15. This would be my first time on a plane (and John’s). Not to mention, my first holiday with John in the whole 3 years we’ve been together. I was very much looking forward to it.
22/01/08
Tuesday I was up. I was ready. I was on time. I was waiting eagerly at the front door! If it were any other day, I can pretty much guarantee I would be none of these things! But this was no ordinary day. This was Bjork Eve!!
My Dad had kindly offered to drive John and I to the airport as it was near where he had to work that day anyway. So, Bjork tickets securely blue tacked in my purse, John and I made our way to the (as John so endearingly referred to it) “plane station”! It wasn’t until we were about half an hour off reaching the airport that my Dad asked me whether there was any particular time that we had to drop our bags off. Oh dear!! Yes there was! In 20 minutes!! Because I’d never flown in a plane before I hadn’t even thought to check that! Luckily, with my Dad sitting over the speed limit ever-so-slightly, we made it to the airport on time.
After saying goodbyes and being completely baffled by the way the whole boarding thing works (well I was anyway), John and I hopped on the plane and sat there grinning and chatting away like…oh I don’t know…two people who’ve never been on a plane before and have just been given a window seat! I know many of you are probably over the whole experience of flying – but my God! How incredible! The clouds look like icebergs from above! It’s an entirely different world up there! Sadly, before I could scroll through my Ipod and properly suss out which song sounded the best while sailing through the clouds (turns out Tori Amos’ ‘Goodbye Pisces’ sounds magical up there) we were already landing in Sydney.
With 3 hours to kill until we had to check in to our hotel (the lovely four and a half star Saville on Bond) we decided to ditch our bags at the hotel and stroll down to the Opera House. The first thing that really struck us about Sydney was how hilly and criss-crossed the CBD was. Even armed with a map, John and I still found it a challenge to navigate our way around. Eventually though, after asking a few Sydneysiders for directions, we found our way there.
A view of the Harbour Bridge taken from the Botanical Gardens 
Yay! We know where we are! We're such clever bunnies!
Many people may not be aware of it, but Bjork’s concert was to be held in the Sydney Opera House Forecourt, not in the Opera House itself. When John and I arrived, the setting up of the stage was already well underway.
Behold! A truck where Bjork will be!
After lolling around the Opera House and the Bjork stage, scoping out where we would have to que the next day and where would be the best vantage point, we strolled down along the harbour and bought ourselves some much needed brunch at a nice little Italian restaurant.
Ah. Relaxation with a view.
The view!
Soon enough it was time to check into the hotel so we made our way back there, grabbed our key cards and went on up to Floor 6. When we found our room we struggled for 5 minutes trying to get the damn door open. When we realised we weren’t making any progress we went downstairs to ask reception for help, only to find that we had to “give the door a good push – don’t worry about using the handle!” Haha! First impressions are swell!
John unpacks in style!
Naturally we immediately raid the fridge, only to find tiny milk!
It even makes my child-like hands seem relatively normal!
The hotel room was fairly swish. We had a full kitchen, big shower, dining table and couch, 2 TV’s, a stereo and a lovely queen size bed. The only disappointing thing about the room was our astonishingly narrow balcony and our…ahem…“view”!
So much for our plans of spending an evening relaxing on the balcony drinking fine wine!
Unfortunately, I was also led to believe there was a DVD player in the room. There wasn’t! Therefore our plans to watch my Bjork concert DVD’S that night had also fallen through! However, there was still the CD player! So, John and I took it upon ourselves to head out again in search of a JB Hifi! This also gave us an opportunity to look around other Sydney shops, as well as hunt down some drinks and something nice to cook for dinner (we had the facilities to make our own food, and housekeeping to clear the dishes, so why not!?) Turns out that the JB HiFi in the Sydney CBD stocks records. Records of Bjork, CocoRosie, Sigur Ros and Tori Amos to name a few! I so wanted to buy myself something. Pity I don’t have a record player! So, John and I picked up a copy of Bjork’s Greatest Hits and headed back to the hotel; stopping off at a terribly busy three story madhouse-of-a-supermarket on the way. Once back we attempted to play our newly bought CD. “Attempted”. The damn CD player wouldn’t work! Goodness! We can’t sit around a musicless room the night before a Bjork concert!
We ring the front desk.
“Ok, we’ll send someone up”.
The guy from the front desk comes up.
“How do you get this thing to close?”
The guy attempts to force the CD tray back in the system.
“You press the close button”
The guy takes our word for it.
“These things are shit” he says.
The guy fiddles around with the system doing nothing in particular.
“Oh fuck”
The guy does something wrong.
“Umm…”
John and I exchange amused glances while this four and a half star receptionist fumbles about punctuating each action with “fuck!” or “oh shit!”
“Um..I could get you a DVD player and you could play your CD’s through that…”
Perfect! Now John and I get to watch the DVD’s I brought along after all!
I’ll drink to that! 
After a lovely dinner John and I decided to head back over to the Opera House. The night was balmy and beautiful and we didn’t want to waste it.
At night, Sydney looked like something out of a sci fi flick…sort of….
Unsurprisingly we ended up sitting on the Opera House steps in front of the Bjork stage (where they were doing a few lighting tests). I simply couldn’t stop myself from squealing when I caught a glimpse of something I recognised from the far-too-many circa Volta YouTube videos I had been watching over the past month. Bjork’s flag backdrop!
“Raise your flag! Higher! Higher!” 
It was during our time on the steps, discussing our plans for the following night and taking photos such this…
...that I noticed another couple wandering around taking pictures of the stage. I was so very close to asking them if they were also in Sydney specifically to see Bjork, but for some reason or rather I didn’t. At the time I thought nothing of it, but stay tuned for freaky coincidental developments involving this couple!
So back to our hotel room we plodded; exhausted from the day’s adventures, and pumped for a fantastic following night.
23/1/08
WednesdayT'was the big day, although I woke up suprisingly calm. Kettle boiling I put Bjork's Royal Opera House gig in the DVD player and stood on the balcony, sussing out the day. It was about 10:30 and warm. Sitting at a little cafe table in the alley below me were a couple who were speaking in sign language. It may have just been my imagination but it felt as though the whole of Sydney was quietly anticipating the evening's concert. Imagination no doubt!
The day was special for another reason as well. It was John's birthday! So, being the loving girlfriend that I am I cooked pancakes for the two of us. Cheating of course with a shake'n serve mix! I spent the next couple of hours getting ready. Strategically planting feathers in my hair while John flicked through the TV channels trying to find a program that wasn't blathering on about Heath Ledger's death. Yes, it was sad. No we don't need to watch a 20 minute interview with his Primary School drama teacher.
We had decided to dedicate much of the day to queing for Bjork, even though the tickets said that anyone queing before 6:00 would be turned away (lies!! all lies!!!). By the time we had left the hotel it was around 3:00. By the time we had found the Opera House it was around 4:00! How we could get lost after visiting it several times the previous day is beyond me!! Then, it appeared before me....THE sign.....
THE sign
Then I noticed THE que!
THE que!
Obviously no one had been turned away from queing early as the tickets claimed they would be. But judging by the moderate length of the que given the measely two hours left until the gates were set to open, it appeared that the message had warned off quite a few fans. I was a happy little duck!!
I'm not sure if it was the prospect of seeing Bjork live in only a few hours, or my general antsyness over securing a good spot in the audience, but the butterflies in my belly were getting more frantic by the minute. After about 20 minutes of sitting around in the sun, I felt my fair skin crisping. So, inspired by the smart people around me I found the nearest souvenir shop and bought an umbrella. Because of this purchase, John and I then tragically ended up with the Umbrella Song stuck in our heads. But at least we were out of the sun!
Under my umberella ella ella eh eh eh...
John's ticket!
My ticket!
Eventually we got talking to some lovely Bjork fans sitting beside us in the que: Gareth (also from Melb) and Kerry (from Sydney). Our conversation (much to my delight) was interjected with sound tests of Innocence, Hunter, Wanderlust, Vertebrae by Verterbrae and Pluto. Hell yes!! It sounded amazing even from the gate!
Pretty soon Elisha and Trav (also Melbournians) rocked up and joined us in the que. Elisha's face was priceless. She was positively glowing with excitement! It was like looking into a mirror!
-Oh and remember the couple we saw on the steps of the Opera House the previous night? This is where they came into play-
It was not long after Elisha and Trav had joined us in the que that they spotted some friends of theirs, also from Melbourne. So, being sociable little creatures they headed on over to them to have a chat. After a while I glanced over at them only to discover that the couple John and I had seen on the steps the previous night were in fact friends of Elisha and Trav! What were the odds?! It was at this point that I also realised I had even met this girl (Sarah) at the Amanda Palmer concert only a month or so earlier! As if things couldn't get any freakier, I later found out that the guy (Mark) standing with her was none other than a Bjork 4umer I had been PM-ing during the weeks before the concert! He had even mentioned that he was travelling with a girl named Sarah in his messages! Talk about a small world!!!
Mark and Sarah in all their glory!
It was about 5:30 and the que stretched back further than I could see. Everyone had gotten the jitters and decided to stand. The next half hour was spent in almost total silence. Well, I was silent at least! Every couple of minutes I would check John's watch. At 5:50 an announcement was made by a woman with a megaphone.
"There's going to be a slight delay. Preperation is running later than expected. The gates should open at 6:15, rather than 6:00"
We'd already been waiting two hours. What was another 15 minutes? Goodness! How wrong I was. Those 15 minutes seemed to go on FOREVER! But eventually...
We were in! 
Notice the hundreds of people adorning the steps? They weren't there when we came in. I swiped this photo from someone on Flickr!!! Nope. When we came in those steps were empty. It was like Tool all over again let me tell you!
"NO RUNNING!! WALK PLEASE!!!"
Again, like at Tool, John and I found ourselves walking. Very fricken fast!! The plan was to bypass the merch stand and find a spot at the very front of the stage, to the left. In the end: success! John, Trav, Elisha and I ended up to the left of the stage, right up against the barricade! We had a wonderful view of the stage. I was so happy I began jigging. All the queing had paid off!
Yo Sydney Bjork fans!!
Again, the previous photo wasn't taken by me. I swiped it! But this was what the audience would have looked like at about 7:00.
And here is...well...it's pretty self explanatory!
Token self explanatory photo possibly swiped from Mark or Sarah
I stood between John and a lesbian with butterfly wings. Directly in front of me was a large flutter canon (a contraption which fires out tickertape). On the stage was Shy Child - an electronic band consisting of two guys. They were good, but nothing special. Fun to bop along to I suppose. On the steps far behind me I saw a girl wearing a swan dress attempting to find herself a spot to sit. Apparently there were a few girls dressed in swan dresses there that evening. We waited and we waited and we waited. I knew that Bjork wouldn't come on until the sun had set.
The crowd anticipates...
This was taken by Trav who was 3 people to the left of me. Not a bad view ey? 
After Shy Child had finished the roadies began setting up the stage. Two flags were placed either side of the stage. By memory they had pictures of frogs and fossils and things on them. Then there were six big flags up the back of the stage, and many more where the 'Wonderbrass' band were going to be standing. There were also 3 large televison screens set up on the stage floor. These would later display the 'reactable' working its magic.
The 'reactable'
My heart was beating in my chest a million miles an hour. The sun had set and the stage was set. An announcement was blasted over the speakers, telling us once again that at the request of Bjork there was to be no photography whatsoever during the evening's show. The press soon filed in and John and I began chatting to a lady who I think was overseeing them. She told us that they would only be hanging around for the first 3 songs and then they would be gone. I was happy about this because many of them were blocking our view. Then, it happened!
First to come on was the Wonderbrass band; playing their instruments loudly as they marched in unison wearing bright balloon-esque jumpsuits. A keyboardist and two...um...sound engineers (?) also entered the stage. The keyboardist (and the Wonderbrass) had indulged in some facepaint! Then....
...SHE came on!!!
In a magnificant gold dress, waving about two porcupine looking things, she bounded onto the stage. Bare feet; hair out. Fearless and fantastic. The rush I felt in that moment was overwhelming. I was the luckiest duck in all of anywhere! By the sound of the crowd they obviously felt similarly!
Bjork!!!
And her porcupine things if you can see them!
Before I had a chance to blink or inhale a second time, flames were fired up into the air on either side of the stage and Earth Intruders thumped itself into action. The sound was incredible. Next was Hunter, in which she did her famous 'Hunter dance' (anyone who's a Bjork nerd like me will know what this is!) It was also during this song that she unleashed a kind of streamer web which stretched out across the entire stage. Under all the lights it looked awesome.
Bjork's webbing
Unravel followed, and then, to my suprise and immense delight, one of my most loved Bjork tracks: Joga. As soon as I heard the first few notes I burst into tears! I never thought I'd be one of those people who cries at concerts but....there I was! For those four or so minutes I was completely under her spell. Lost in a whole other world. Unaware of anyone else around me. It was magical and perfect! I felt content.
Then came Who Is It (possibly my favourite track off Medulla), The Pleasure is All Mine (another Medulla edition) and Pagan Poetry. The Pleasure Is All Mine seemed to bring out a little of Bjork's tough side. At one stage she was standing at the very edge of the stage, directly in front of me, pointing a stern finger into the crowd and bellowing the lines "Women like us, we strengthen most". Her intense gaze at that point, and the way she stressed these particular lines made me, as a woman, feel strangely empowered. It was pretty cool! Pagan Poetry also blew me away. Her voice in this song was spectacular, and her sincere delivery of the lines "I love him, I love him, I love him I love him..." was really something to behold.
Belting it out! 
Next was Desired Constellation. For me, this was one of the highlights of the night for sure. Her impromptu inclusion of the lines "again and again and again....", sung in the way they were, brought so much more to the song. Stunning to say the very least. Changing the mood completely was Army of Me. Live, it was one hefty song. The beats were powerful and the lighting was incredible. John and I stomped, yelled and flailed about as green lazer lights rebounded off the grand Sydney Opera House sails. John; who prior to the concert hadn't much cared for Army of Me; was shortly converted.
I found myself rocking out to AOM in someone else's photo!
I also found John and Trav!
I Miss You then gave me another reason to dance about like an idiot! Although, I was suprised to look around mid-song only to discover that the audience didn't seem to be getting into it as much as I was. Or perhaps they were just too mesmerised to move. Bachelorette then let Bjork show off that epic voice of hers, while Cover Me had her displaying her more cheeky and animated side - mischievously stage whispering with the audience and accompanying a sip of her drink with a delicate little kick! Next was Wanderlust, a track off her latest album Volta. Honestly, this track was something else live. I was really impressed. The beats were great fun! Following this was Hyperballad. A crowd favourite, and the very track which had first introduced me to Bjork way back in year 9! Woah! Once again I was blown away. Bjork even held out her microphone towards the start of the track and encouraged the audience to sing some lines! And we did! Quite loudly!! From there on the crowd went schitzo! Dancing and screaming and what not. It was enormous and wonderful!
She then closed the concert with a bang. Pluto was this bang! It was harsh and meaty and all I'd hoped it would be! Strobes attacked the stage while flutter canons filled the sky with tickatape. I screamed so hard and loud that I started to feel dizzy. It was fantastic!! "Thenks for toonight" she said in that cute little Icelandic voice of hers.
And the crowd went wild!!
But this was not to be the end of the concert. Oh no. Eventually (after my hands were well and truely red and raw from applauding) she came back on stage, and commented on the view. Something to the effect of "It's such a wonderful view. With you, and the bridge, and that building (she signals towards the Opera House). And the moon has gatecrashed on us. In a big way (it was a low, full moon that night!)
Note the gatecrashing moon!
She then went on to perform a beautiful brass version of Oceania (a song which she performed at the Olympics), in which she and the Wonderbrass girls took turns exchanging bows. I know it sounds typical, but I'm quite sure we made eye contact during this track. It had me reeling!
Her final song for the evening shook the whole of Sydney!! This was Declare Independence, another track off Volta. Dedicated to the Indigenous people of Australia, experiencing this track live was like nothing else I've ever experienced. The sheer power of her voice. Flutter canons booming. Thousands of fans screaming "Higher higher!!!" in unison. Ticketape filling my open mouth, sticking to my sweat and drying tears. Thick bass travelling through my chest. Thumping: in my ears and beneath my feet. The smell of smoke as fireworks punctured the night sky.
FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!
Here's just a taste...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU3L3oZ_6iU&feature=related With that, she left the stage, and I was left sitting on the ground; an overwhlemed, overjoyed, teary mess! After I had composed myself (sort of!) the battle for the setlists began! It was at this point that we also met up with Sarah and Mark. I can't quite remember if I said anything to them. I think I may have just hugged them! After pleading for ages with the wanky security guards for setlists, Mark took it upon himself to jump the barrior and grab one for himself. Success!! What a smart little cookie!
Time ticked on and setlists slowly disappeared. John and I eventually gave up. At least we had the memories. And pockets full of tickatape! I soon began chatting with a guy who was waiting for his backstage pass to be authenticated by security. I hoped that if I told him how much trouble John and I had gone to to get tickets he might take pity on us and grant us some backstage passes of our own!! Haha! No luck! But he was still quite interesting to talk to. He told me that the Wonderbrass band actually listen to Rage Against the Machine to wind down after a show. I found this amusing given that many Rage fans at the BDO had been giving Bjork a hard time on stage. When he headed off I turned to John only to find him holding some sort of large egg thing. That large egg thing was actually Bjork's streamer webbing from Hunter, wrapped up tightly by the roadies!! Ahhhhhhh!!! Bjork's prop!!! Setlist smetlist!
Don't believe me? See for yourself...
With the streamers hidden under John's Volta t-shirt, we headed out the gates, passing many happy people along the way. It was outside the gate that we ran into Gareth and Kerry. We gushed about the show a little (ok a lot!) and exchanged numbers. John and I were going to go back to the hotel to drop off the streamers, and then head out for post-Bjork drinks with Gareth. We ended up at the Opera House Bar in the end, which was lovely. There were these slanted kooshy couches which lent over the twinkling harbour.
The Opera House Bar
Fellow Bjork lover: Gareth
Unfortunately for us though, the bar was set to close soon. So we decided to wander the streets aimlessly in search of somewhere else to celebrate. While doing this we coincidently ran into Mark and Sarah (what is it with these two and strange coincidences?!) who were also looking for somewhere to drink. So, as a chipper little group we all headed to a nearby pub for schooners of beer (they don't have pots in Sydney) and much talk of music. It was a swell end to a swell night!
Ok...well...possibly the best night of my life!!!
John, Mark and I being...well...some kind of awesome!
And to think, this photo wasn't retouched in any way!!
Stay tuned for the next Bjork related installment: Bjork Day Out (lovingly ripped off from Mark!)
xx.
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